So I’m sitting here imagining an alternative marketing push for the movie Melancholia…… “It’s about this huge meteor, right, that’s heading straight for earth, right, so it’s a race against time coz its gonna kill, like, everyone, right? And it’s got Kiefer Sutherland from 24 in it, and also that Swedish dude who’s the vampire in True Blood, and it’s got Kirsten Dunst, right? and she gets her whole kit off….”

Oh yes, how easily things can be spun. Melancholia is indeed a film about the end of Planet Earth – and Melancholia is also the huge planet that’s about to slam into our little blue marble. Kirsten Dunst plays a woman suffering from both depression and a truly frazzled and fucked-up family. But the thing about depression is, when shit falls apart, you remain entirely cool and collected, and as Melancholia approaches, Kirsten’s weepy dead-beat becomes the only one in the family who holds it all together.

So the worst thing about the film (aside from director von Trier’s Nazi jokes) is that it is extremely slow. The absolute best thing about Melancholia (aside from KiKiDee, who rocks) is the graceful, atmospheric Swedish estate of Tjoloholm Slott where it was filmed. It’s the kind of elegant place the Vanger’s wished they had the class and refinement to inhabit.