I hated Sex Tape so much I stopped watching after 7 truly excruciating minutes. Just, too too awful for words.
Leslie Mann discovers her caddish husband is having an affair with Cameron Diaz. Of course they become friends. And then they discover that said husband is cheating on both of them with the buxom and much younger Kate Upton. Who also happens to be very nice. And so together the three of them plot the errant husband’s downfall. Cue the poop jokes and weird drag shaming.
Oh, I don’t really know what to say about The Other Woman. There are flashes of brilliance, flashes of tenderness. But how can you even contemplate a 109 minute movie starring three whole lead actresses that completely fails the Bechdel Test? Yes: 109 minutes and these women NEVER talk to each other about anything other than their man. Not even the secretary, at work, talks about anything other than Nikolaj Coster Waldau. It’s bizarre. The movie’s also a bit screechy, to be honest, when tensions rise. I didn’t entirely hate it; parts of it were sweet and funny. I laughed a bit. But I’m mostly a tad bemused and perplexed by the whole thing. Locations in Georgia. Whatever.
Oh lord, The Counsellor is an awful film. Cormac McCarthy wrote it, for God’s sake, and he’s one of my favourite authors ever ever ever. (If you haven’t read his Blood Meridian….well, you should is all I’m saying.) But his own script here – about a sleazy lawyer who gets in over his head when a drug deal goes wrong – is just dreadful: bloated, plodding, pompous, overblown and stodgy.
Several tens of minutes of dialogue – where they talk about women or recount jokes – should have been stripped from the film, the sex scenes are excruciating, and all of the actors, ALL of them, seem like they’ve realised, too late and with a bit of a shock, that this Ridley Scott – Cormac McCarthy vehicle is a cringe-making embarrassment. The Counsellor does look spectacular though – and it filmed all over the place, a lot in England, which surprised me. I think Alicante stood in for Mexico.
I went to see Knight and Day with a relatively open mind. I say relatively, because I think Tom Cruise is probably quite a sly and nasty piece of work. Also, the Redhead and Rose went to see the film on Friday and had pronounced it “Ho-Hum”; damning with faint praise.
So what can I tell you? Well, it’s one of those instantly recognisable spy capers: an unexplainable gadget of intrinsic value, cross purposes and betrayals and issues of identity, lots of CGI and a pair of protagonists who come to love each other via a series of outrageous action set pieces that occur in visually stunning places. Played serious, it could have been Mission Impossible. Luckily it’s not. In fact, aside from taking half an hour or so to get over the Tom Cruise ick factor, it was a pleasant enough way to wile away a Sunday afternoon in Belgrade.
As mentioned, the plot leaps from photogenic location to photogenic location: Boston to the Azores (actually Jamaica) to Salzburg to Seville (though quite why Austria was included as a plot point is a mystery – it’s kind of random.) Seville looks magnificent though – there’s lots of behind the scenes stuff online – including a great Access Hollywood insert here on the streets of Seville. Even nuggety little Tom seems decent enough, which – though I don’t believe or trust him for a nano-second – is a surprise.