Snow White and the Huntsman

Having recently sat through the Julia Roberts Snow White tale, Mirror Mirror, I was a bit meh about whether to bother with another version of the same: the much more widely anticipated Snow White and the Huntsman. But I’m not a Kristen Stewart hater, so I thought I’d give it a bash.

Well, obviously I’m not going to bother telling you the plot, but it filmed in the UK, without being particularly exciting in its choice of locations: Bourne Woods, Burnham Beeches and Frensham Ponds have all appeared in recent productions. What else to tell you? Well it’s pretty to look at and it tries very hard to be exciting, without actually being very good. Charlize Theron eats the furniture like she believes her own press, and Chris Hemsworth’s Scottish accent is so all over the place, not even his muscles can save him. Verdict? Wait til it’s downloadable.

Twilight

With a 10 year old daughter about to take up permanent residence in our household, I guess I’d better (finally) get hip with teen culture. And what better way to understand teenage girls than the Twilight phenomenon?

Well, the plot is simple enough: girl meets boy, boy is good vampire, bad vampires try to eat girl. There you go.

Sadly, it’s less a shlocky vampire movie than the slow, schmalzy awakening of adolescent love and the white-faced vampires all look permanently startled rather than particularly menacing. They’re even vegetarians. It’s a bit like Blade, as made by the Hallmark Channel.

Already the books have made Forks, Washington the somewhat unlikely beneficiary of mass tourism by hysterical teenagers and their bemused parents – an opportunity shrewdly exploited by the local Chamber of Commerce. Lord knows what the movie will do. Some of the locations are listed at the metacafe site and at the movie’s own wiki site.