The Fourth Kind

Super-Serb Milla Jovovich is back, this time as an Alaskan psychiatrist treating patients who are experiencing startlingly similar, apparently terrifying, dreams. No, not dreams of a Sarah Palin Presidency – though that’d be scary enough for me. Rather, they each have been kidnapped by aliens, had their inside bits fiddled about a bit with, and have been dumped back on terra firma with their memories (imperfectly) wiped. Milla tries to uncover what the frak is going on, but being Alaskan and therefore with, what?, like a half-term experience of actually being a doctor, she blunders about with some of the most inappropriate, ill-advised and under-supervised treatments known to medical science. It doesn’t end well. It also ends in 5000 year old Sumerian, so you must know.

The Fourth Kind purports to be a true story based on secret FBI papers or something, and the film occasionally split-screens so you can see the home video footage in real life of the character Milla’s playing. Except it’s not real life, really, just a homelier actress with worse lighting. Perhaps the lack of authenticity comes from having avoided filming in Mama Grizzly territory altogether and having shot in Bulgaria instead? (no Nome tundra, just lots of lush, leafy mountains; odd.) Oh I don’t know, I don’t want to be too harsh, because I do love a Milla movie from time to time. But this isn’t really even a very good X-Files episode and I thought that was a bit of a disappointment.

A Perfect Getaway

Super-Serb Milla Jovovich and chunky little Steve Zahn (that’s new, serious Steve Zahn, not the former doofus version) are ostensibly a pair of love-struck newly-weds on Honeymoon in Hawaii. It’s A Perfect Getaway. They take a hiking trail to a remote part of one of the islands, falling in with an Iraq war vet and his almost-fiancee plus a pair of somewhat scary hitchhikers along the way. And its the scary that does it. Because a man and a woman have reportedly viciously murdered another pair of newly-weds back in Honolulu…..we just don’t know who.

So, A Perfect Getaway is a perfectly serviceable little thriller, particularly if you haven’t seen the trailer and aren’t expecting any of the twists and turns. Milla’s pretty good, Steve Zahn has (somewhat unnervingly) become really rather, how can I say this? smokin’, in his old age, and it’s also got Chris Hemsworth AND Timmy Olyphant, so there’s eye candy galore. And as for the Hawaii locations…..

And again here’s a twist. Because for all the times that Hawaii has stood in for Vietnam, Costa Rica, the Pacific, Africa, yadda yadda yadda, here’s one where Puerto Rico stands in for Hawaii. The climactic beach scene was actually filmed at the enigmatic Aguadilla in Puerto Rico (though the cave is actually found in Jamaica.) Ah, the magic of the Movies.