I don’t know Seth MacFarlane. I’ve never seen Family Guy, or Ted, or his apparently squirmy presentation at the Oscars. I’ve never seen him interviewed or read an opinion piece on him. So I came to A Million Ways to Die in the West with no expectations whatsoever. Which was a good thing, I think….
Read moreTranscendence
Transcendence had a big budget. You can tell because everything is slick and glossy and high-definition-real-film-awesome-fx marvellous. Everything except for the script, which, though it is packed with zooty ideas and concepts, rolls out like it was drafted by one of those Internet Name Generators, one stilted, wooden cliche at a time. Also: Rebecca Hall…
Read moreLone Survivor
Director Peter Berg (the excellent, under-rated The Kingdom, the daft but hugely enjoyable, under-rated Battleship) here turns his hand to the story of four special forces operatives stuck faaaaaaaar behind enemy lines in Afghanistan. Pinned down by hostile Taliban, and out of radio contact with base, injured and isolated, the four guys – Wahlberg, Kitsch, Foster,…
Read moreThe Lone Ranger
The Lone Ranger is everything you’ve heard about it, and more. Or less, depending on how you look at it. It’s certainly richly gorgeous to look at, and the scenes of the Wild West town and the construction of the railway look fantastic. But. But. Oh where do I even begin with the buts? The…
Read moreThe Host
One of the joys of the school holidays is a constant rotation of teen movies on the tv. The Host was last up. And O – M – G it was ridiculous. Now, I’ve never read any Stephanie Meyer, but I understand her books are incredibly badly written, with turgid and stilted dialogue between the…
Read moreCowboys and Aliens
In Cowboys and Aliens, it’s 1873 and a skinny, craggy Daniel Craig awakes in the Arizona desert with no recollection of who he is nor how he got there, and with a strange, beeping, modern metal bangle strapped to his wrist. When he arrives at the nearest town, it’s attacked by aliens with vastly superior…
Read moreTrue Grit
The Cohen Brothers’ remake of True Grit, starring Matt Damon and an incomprehensible Jeff Bridges, filmed in New Mexico – I’m guessing because of the incentives as much as for the pristine Old West landscapes. You all know the story of the prissy teenage girl who hires a bounty hunter to track her father’s killer…
Read morePaul
Oh I so so so nearly loved Paul. Nearly, but not quite. It’s about two harmless British sci-fi geeks who’re attending Comic Con in San Diego (actually Albuquerque Convention Center) and then heading off on a road trip to some of the American South-West’s most iconic sci-fi sights and sites. Heading towards Roswell, New Mexico…
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