So here’s the plot of The Darkest Hour: Aliens blow shit up – score! They blow shit up in Russia – bonus! Gnome-y Emile Hirsch leads a bunch of hapless foreigners to salvation – good to go!

And yet, yet…. what an utterly numbing disappointment. Moscow looks awesome on film, but the plot, and worse, the characters, are completely hopeless, taking the most stupid, inane, unrealistic risks and generally acting like morons. The Russian characters are all cartoon-like stereotypes, and when the aliens finally appear on screen, they’re like angry Mars Attacks baddies: ludicrous. Max Minghella runs funny too – it’s like he’s wearing Charlie Chaplin shoes.