By The Duchess I do not refer to the awful, trashy Fergilicious (note to Fergie: London Bridge does not go down. Or up. It does not move), but rather the film of the same about Lady Georgaina Spencer. Starring the wonky-eyed Keira Knightley, the movie concerns the bright seventeen year old contracted off into marriage as the Duchess of Devonshire. He, unfortunately is a treacherous, hypocritical, icy old cad (Ralph Fiennes) and for the next two hours he proceeds to make her upper-crust life a misery.

To be honest, I only watched the film because if shot at Holkham Hall just down the road from where I grew up. There’s a marvellous entrance hall that looks like it was tiled with Guerlain chocolates which appears a lot in the movie. There’s more behind the scenes stuff here.  I’d had lunch with Ralph Fiennes the day before too, so that was somewhat bizarre. But is it a good film? Well it’s sumptuous and it’s pretty well acted, but I couldn’t work up the interest to care: poor little rich girl. If you’re really interested in the dull trauma of unhappily-arranged marriages, read Monica Ali’s Brick Lane.