Here’s the most ridiculous thing: the bad guy in the WWE franchise movie The Marine was originally written for Al Pacino. As we now know, Al Pacino has completely lost the plot recently and has displayed less-than-zippo integrity when it comes to his choice of movies. Yet even he, even Pacino, turned this ludicrous concoction down flat. So you must know…..

Ejected from the Marines (ie, so he’s not actually a Marine, more like an ex-Marine) stubby John Cena (oh, and he looks like Matt Damon!!) and his blonde wife are at a gas station when some bankrobbers turn up. She gets kidnapped by the baddies (cue campy dialogue, stunts, explosions etc. etc. etc.) and he tracks them down through the South Carolina swamps.

Except it’s not Carolina, it’s Brisbane. And John Cena remains fully clothed throughout. Enough said. Fast forward……

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