X Men Origins: Wolverine

I used to like Hugh Jackman quite a lot. But he’s turning into a hairier Matthew McConaughey, and not in a good way. Just about every scene in X-Men Origins: Wolverine seems designed to show him off in the best possible light – all teeth and blow dried hair and rippling shirtless muscle. He’s doing a Zoolander Blue Steele throughout – even in the trenches of World War I. Not that there’s anything wrong with that – particularly if you’re into soft porn – but you too might find it annoying if you’re keen on other things: like plot, logic, pacing, consistency or absence of cliche.

There, I’ve said it: X-Men Origins: Wolverine is a bit of a dog’s breakfast. Great special effects, great cinematography, Ryan Reynolds appears shirtless (bonus!) but it’s all a relentless re-hash of things we’ve seen before – the girlfriend with a troubled sister to protect, the kindly elderly couple, the remote hideaway, Native American stories involving the Moon, madness in Vietnam. Yawn. And I’m also not sure how many times we were supposed to enjoy Wolverine and Victor running at each other very fast and shouting as the lead up to a fight. It happens A LOT.

The filming locations were principally New Zealand (standing in for the Canadian Rockies) and New South Wales standing in for everything else. Washed out New Orleans plays itself though. Kind of apt, in a way.