I feel like I’ve had a treat of a movie weekend, and if anything, we saved the best til last, wrapping up with Alexander Payne’s quite, quite brilliant The Descendants. George Clooney – just on top form – is Matt King, an overworked lawyer and descendant of one of the 1860 missionaries who won vast…
Read moreBattleship
I was wondering how they’d turn a dodgy board game into a blockbuster aliens-blow-shit-up sci-fi spectacle. I thought they might skip the strategy stuff altogether and I was really pleasantly surprised how they pulled it off (it’s actually pretty inspired, something to do with tsunami buoys – seriously.) And whilst there’s little character development, some…
Read moreJust Go With It
I’ll say this nicely. There’s a guy in my gym who’s suffering from some sort of elephantiasis. Seriously. He’s got this wee, completely normal-sized head that’s carrying no extra flab around his chin or cheeks, but his body is lumbering and massive and each of his legs are the size of my entire torso. As…
Read moreThe Rise of the Planet of the Apes
The Rise of the Planet of the Apes is a glossy re-imagining of how the world of the seventies Sci-Fi tv series – where talking chimps rule the world and humans are dumb slave labor – comes about. This time, a crumply scientist (James Franco) tries to cure Alzheimers and creates a brain potion that’s…
Read moreA Perfect Getaway
Super-Serb Milla Jovovich and chunky little Steve Zahn (that’s new, serious Steve Zahn, not the former doofus version) are ostensibly a pair of love-struck newly-weds on Honeymoon in Hawaii. It’s A Perfect Getaway. They take a hiking trail to a remote part of one of the islands, falling in with an Iraq war vet and…
Read morePredators
Predators asks just one thing of it’s audience, but it is a pretty big ask nonetheless: that you consider only the first Predator film (starring the Gubernator himself) as source material, whilst figuratively drinking your own bodyweight in order to forget the unmitigated trash of Predator 2 and the even worsePredator/Alien mash-ups that followed. No…
Read morePredators
Another up-and-coming: Predators. Hawaii-Texas locations. Utterly crap trailer, but no, really, I cannot wait….
Read moreForgetting Sarah Marshall
Doofus musician Peter (Jason Segel) has spent six years idolizing his girlfriend, television star Sarah Marshall. When she dumps him, he takes an impulsive trip to Oahu, Hawaii, where he is confronted by his worst nightmare: his ex and her hip new Rock Star boyfriend, Aldous, are staying at the same resort….. Forgetting Sarah Marshall…
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